How to be an Alpha Bitch

There is a moment in every woman's life when she comes to understand that the only way to get what she wants is to be an Alpha Bitch. Knowing this does not make it so. She must either decide to become one or accept that she doesn't have what it takes. If the former, and contrary to what you might think, she does not decide to become mean. She decides to become a leader. One that inspires obedience, loyalty, respect, fear and above all, love from her subject, be it man, child or beast.

Step 1 to being an Alpha Bitch is

1. Recognize that you need to be the Alpha Bitch It's okay to not realize it right way, as long as you realize it before the subject realizes that between the two of you, she is more Alpha than you are. Usually, this means while they're young, still look up to you and/or don't yet realize their own strength. Once you've made the decision to be the leader

2. You must decide how you want the subject to behave and be consistent in the message. This requires a lot of foresight and energy. If you're like me and have a set of rules for home and a set of rules in other people's homes, it can be even more challenging, though not impossible. The trick is to be get the subject to listen to you wherever you are, and to never question your authority.

3. Realize and accept that when the subject misbehaves, it's really your fault. This is often hard to accept because on some level we wish the subject would know good behavior instinctually. But accept it you must. No matter how good the subject might be, she will not know these behaviors inherently and must be taught what is good behavior and what is bad.

4. Always look the subject in the eye and never show fear. Your eyes, voice and body language are all key factors. To command, you must be commanding, period.

5. Reward the subject with treats when they do what you want. Learn what is the most valuable treat. Self-explanatory.

6. Withhold treats when the subject does not do what you want. Ditto.

7. Learn when to withhold treats for other reasons, for example when the subject grows too accustomed to treats. Learn to sometimes withhold treats in order to increase their value. Sometimes we learn this by accident because, for reasons not necessarily within our control, treats become unavailable for a period of time. The next time we give the treat the subject appreciates it that much more, which makes training easier.

8. Follow up treats with praise. The goal is to get the subject to behave even without treats all the time, for the subject to forget that bad behavior is even an option. The goal is for good behavior to become the norm.

9. Realize and accept that there will be exceptions After all, the subject is what it is, and cannot be blamed for having these urges. Every now and then, let the subject blow off some steam and just be themselves.

10. Be patient, compassionate and loving. Don't always be in training mode. It's okay to show affection, to laugh and play and indulge and spoil, to a certain extent. As a professional trainer recently told me, "Eventually, she'll realize that everything good in her life comes from you."