Everything Everywhere All At Once

I’m being cheeky with the title of this post, but you know what they say about jokes… they usually have some truth to them. The truth is sometimes I feel this phrase (the title of the award-winning 2022 film) is a fairly accurate description of my life right now. I’m busy. Very busy. So busy it’s been six months since my last post.

The irony is that I started this year with a vow to “do one thing at a time.” For the most part, I do do one thing at a time. It’s just that I have multiple things going on.

I’m working, looking for more work, developing a TV series, rewriting a feature screenplay, taking a rewriting class, going to occasional film festivals to promote the short film I directed last year, trying to get a new short film off the ground, trying to get other projects off the ground, applying to programs/grants/residencies, maintaining my house upstate (while living in Brooklyn), taking care of my elderly pup, taking care of myself, and curating an art exhibition upstate that opens in August.

And, of course, all these things break down into dozens or more tasks. It’s like a juggling routine. One that I’m weirdly good at.

I’ve often wondered why I do this. Why do I do so many things at once? Is it some sort of self-sabotage? A form of attention-deficit disorder? Proof of ambition? Or proof of my inability to say No or Maybe Later. Is it lack of foresight? Or is it the city energy embedded within me? (I invite the psychoanalysts out there to comment.)

One of my theories is that being busy is my way of coping with tough times – like a defense mechanism. I distract myself from the fact the ship is sinking (or has been taken over by a madman) by trying to clean all rooms and round up all the animals and write a book and maybe invent something meaningful. Basically, I make myself so busy that I can’t think (too long) about how messed up things are.

Staying busy also satisfies my need to control something when there is so much out of my control.

Then there’s the “spaghetti on the wall” theory. Basically, you throw everything you’ve got and hope that something sticks.

As funny as it sounds, I really am trying to be strategic (I admit, I might need help with this). I can explain how everything is related, how one thing serves the other or is essential. But this doesn’t necessarily mean it makes sense. Or is easy.

I’m also not the only one. Everyone I know is busy - most people are working multiple jobs, trying to maintain homes, families, small businesses, at the same time as pursuing creative passions and careers. We’re all on the same boat. We’re all hustling. Trying to thrive, not just survive.

All I know is to keep going and keep doing my absolute best at every individual thing. So far, I’ve managed to do just that. And I swear I’m not taking on anything else this year—unless it pays well. And then I might have to drop something else.

I dream about taking a real vacation, about having enough money to not have to hustle all the time and having the freedom to write all day. I dream about walking onto my own film set knowing that all the minutia of life are handled. And these dreams sustain me.

In the meantime, life is busy and might seem complicated, but it’s not chaotic. There’s a method to the madness, and believe it or not, I have it under control. Some might even say I’m kicking butt.

Everything Everywhere All At Once, directed by Daniel Scheinert and Daniel Kwan.