Do What Makes You Happy
The only answer that matters.
A couple of weeks ago, I attended an event at a gallery in New York City. It was a cold January night, and I checked my heavy coat as soon as I arrived. Then, a few minutes later, I realized I’d left my phone in the left coat pocket. I tried to ignore the nagging feeling that something was missing. I told myself it didn’t matter, that it was nice to be without the phone. But I kept wanting to go back and get it, and wondering what this said about me. I told a friend what I was internally debating and my frustration at not being able to make a decision. Did she have an opinion on the matter? She shrugged, “Do what makes you happy.”
It was as simple as that.
Oddly, this message has repeated in different ways the last month or so.
Around New Years, another friend posted a short video on Instagram saying quite emphatically, “Whatever you want to do in life, don’t wait. Do it now.”
My niece, who loves podcasts, recently introduced me to The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett, on which people talk about common sense tools for living your best life. One guest said she doesn’t set goals. Rather, she strives to create a life that aligns with her values. Another guest talked about how the key to happiness is not being rich, but doing what you want to do with your time.
And this sticker fell out of a book I randomly picked up over the holidays.
I happened to spend the holiday season in Brooklyn, NY, relaxing with my journal, taking long walks with my dog, and doing a lot of deep thinking (like a lot of people, I get introspective at the end of the calendar year). I wrote pages of lists – what I love, what I want to improve, what I want more of, different ideas for achieving all the above, and the pros and cons of each decision. Basically, brainstorming life.
On Christmas eve the pup and I strolled down to the Brooklyn waterfront. I was delightfully surprised she wanted to walk that far (she’s 11.5 years old), especially in a direction we don’t usually go. I could tell she was curious. We both felt a sense of excitement as we neared the view. And what a view!
It might have been in this very moment that I decided to move to New York City.
When I say “move,” I don’t mean sell my house and relocate entirely. This isn’t like the moves I’ve made previously, driving across the country for graduate school and years later driving back across the country to move to New York state. I’ll still be going upstate and voting upstate. But I will be based in the city, as opposed to the other way around.
This is more of a new geographical emphasis.
What does this mean in a practical sense? A lot of things. Will this decision make me happy? Time will tell. But I will say this.
The world feels very precarious right now. It feels like civilization as we know it is careening (slowly, or not) towards… something. Is it a precipice like at the end of the film Thelma and Louise? Is it a confrontation? I don’t know. All I know is, as my brother in law recently summed up, “things are very messed up right now.”
Which is why it feels like if ever there was a time to do what you makes you happy, this is it.
The truth is I’ve been wanting to be in New York City for a long time. I’ve lived two hours north of the city and going back and forth fairly regularly for eight and a half years. Now, it’s time to stay and commit to the grind. I do still believe in goals and laid out some very specific ones a couple of posts ago, and the only way to make them happen is to be here, in the thick of things.
The city is harsh, dirty, loud, and (right now) very grey and dreary. I’ve used the word “accosting” several times when describing to a friend of mine in Los Angeles how it feels to be in NYC every day. Suffice it to say, it is not an easy place to be. But it’s also full of the kind of energy and inspiration that I’m craving these days.
And when it gets to be too much, I will head upstate and recuperate.
For now, I’m here, taking public transportation like everyone else, walking fast, moving my car on street cleaning days, and avoiding eye contact for the most part - one of the many aspects that are totally the opposite of living upstate. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve been upstate so long that I’ve lost my city girl edge.
Nah… I’ve always been a city girl. And I got this.
2024 is about making bold moves. Excited to share the journey with you. xo
PS. I did get my phone at that event. And used it to take photos of the art.
