Coming Out as a Blogger (via Freshly Pressed)

I just found out this blog is going to be Freshly Pressed. Today. Possibly in a few hours. The email letting me know was sent roughly 19 hours ago and I just noticed it (sorry, WordPress). First of all, I'm honored and flattered. Second of all... holy shit! Wasn't I just talking about being shy about the blog!?! I guess those days are over.

Will this change how I blog? Will this be a curse like some say winning an Academy Award is the beginning of the end? (I would happily begin the end that way.) Or is this what Kaz would describe as "one of them good problems?"

Time will tell but I don't think it will change anything. In fact, it might be the kick in the ass I need to get over this stupid shyness. After all, how will I ever be a professional writer if I'm shy about my writing? I've written a memoir for goodness sake. If you think I'm shy about the blog, imagine how shy I am about that. And yet, it's something I'd still like to share with people... one day, in some fashion. Maybe the lesson here is I just gotta do my thing.

If there's one thing I've learned from the entire experience of loving and losing Kaz, it's that I cannot control a goddamn thing in this world... EXCEPT my writing. I can hardly control myself half the time but I definitely cannot control what happens in life (oh, how I've tried). I cannot control who reads what I write. I cannot control who likes what I write. I cannot control anything except the words on the page. And since I'm a control freak, you better believe I'm going to keep writing.

Which brings me to a phrase once mentioned in the caregiver's support group I used to go to: Caregiver cajones. I think I just grew my blogging equivalent.

Thanks, WordPress!